It has been a week the news got to me but each time I remember Tee’s death, it sends shivers down my spine, worse still that it could have been prevented save negligence and ignorance makes the news more unbearable. The last time I saw Tee was during the Easter vacation, her inconspicuous bright coloured skin was enough to always catch one’s attention with her bulging stomach, signifying her second child on the way. She was my next door neighbour, a college of education graduate, but our greetings never went beyond, “how is the family? and Baby nko?” She was a young mother and wife, in her mid 20’s I guess. Tee gave up the ghost on the 22nd of July, after having gone for her usual ante-natal checkups and told her expected date of delivery, the only hitch being that it would be through caesarian operation, the same manner in which she had her first child. On hearing this, she went to seek confirmation from her Pastor who talked his way into her husband telling him to bring her to the church for prayers where she would give birth through natural means. Though she gave birth through natural means with unprofessional midwives around her, she bled to death for there was no proper health care facilities and qualified doctors. Thank God the baby was saved. Now who faces the consequences? The Pastor who of course is living his normal life in his church, her husband left in a devastated state or her two kids who are now in her mother’s custody?
Now consider another story of a certain man who attends one of these churches where Saturday is their religious day of worship. On finishing his secondary school education in the 70’s, he had the intention of studying overseas but frequent reminders by his Pastor that Saturday was a holy day of obligation stopped him from writing TOEFL and SAT. It was until he got to his later years that he realized that his Pastors children were studying overseas and how? Surprising to him by writing their exams on the supposed Sabbath day. That event, he told me was the one of the turning points in his life and to compensate for this he made sure he passed down the legacy to his children. Many a times I have had people knocking at my door wanting to preach to me, only for me to see them much later going contrary to what they have preached. Now get my point, I understand that the human flesh is susceptible to weakness but what happens in a case not when it is a usual occurrence showing that you are just a mere contradiction to what you preach. I believe that we all should be living examples of what we preach and it is no longer news that certain people who pose as men of God are the most farcical and intolerable people to live with. Another striking feature is the emphasis that has been laid on success and wealth, and the cliché, “failure is not my portion” in churches. Yes, failure is no one’s portion, but the basic facts of life has been ignored that failure is a key part of life, and when the proper lessons are learnt, and used to one’s advantage it could lead to success. Sometimes I feel that little emphasis is laid on the means of attaining salvation and transferred to “wealth”, “success” et al in order to keep their congregation.
My verdict? Who am I to be the judge? My only advice is that in whatever we do, we should believe that we all have God within us, if only we open up our hearts to receive him. Be logical with yourself, people around you and whatever situation you find yourself in. Believe more in God and in yourself and shy away from “my pastor said…”, it is only within you to have that conviction. Most pastors after playing on your psychic will tell you what they feel you should know and will keep you in their church. It is only a form of escapism, shying away from the responsibility of making your own decision and a temporary solution to solving a problem which will only resurface much later. Honestly, I have seen quite a number of “my pastor said …” incidences having adverse effects on people. I am very certain that Tee would have been alive if only she had been more rational by heeding to the doctor’s recommendation of a Caesarian Section and backing it up with prayers. Do your thinking yourself, it is necessary to ask for pieces of advice along the way but have it in mind that the bulk of the decision falls on you, and is your responsibility. Whatever the outcome, you are the one who will bear the consequences whether negative or positive, irrespective of how much sympathy those around you would show.
On a final note, never allow your emotions to becloud your reason. Let us not fall into the snare thinking that to be religious is to be without reason or that to accept reason we must as a requisite renounce faith in Almighty God.
